The Birds, the Bees and Chicken

I know it's been eons but I had to write this down before I forgot.....

I heard Seena crying softly in her room. I thought it was because she was upset at our argument before bed but I was completely shocked by what was upsetting her.

Me: What's the matter, sugar.
Seena: I don't want to grow. I'm scared. I want to stay 5.

which then led to, what happens when you die? What do you in heaven? I don't want to die, I don't want to grow ....here is where I got instant tears....and somewhere in this conversation she brought up not wanting kids because she's scared of the hospital cutting her belly....?????

then, the question was how does God make us? ....Umm, so not ready for the bird and the bees conversation yet...So, I asked for further clarification, "Do you mean where did Aiden come from?" Seena replies, "no, how did God make us? Are we made from chicken?" Such sweet innocence...I don't want her to grow either....

Since I was not prepared to explain to my 5 year old the truth yet I reminded her of what we read in the Bible. God made a man and a woman, Adam and Eve, and everyone came from them.

That seemed to satisfy her for the moment and then she asked, "well, if everyone dies, what will happen to earth when everyone dies?"

Needless to say, this came out of total left field, but I think we ended the conservation with smiles and good thoughts.

Maybe seeing all my grey hairs popping up all over my head has her all up in arms? ;)

Sweet dreams....

No More Do-Si-Doe

Now that the school year is coming to a close...I have to take a moment to reflect on some of the major differences I've seen at Seena's school. It's amazing what these kids have at their fingertips now.

One of my biggest shocks was in Seena's gym class. (I think I've mentioned this before). Back in the day when I went to elementary school our curriculum included square dancing. Does anyone remember that? A little do-si-doe! Now the dance curriculum has been replaced with Dance Revolution! Each kid had his/her own mat and there were probably 50 kids in the room. It was quite a site!

One of Seena's encore classes (similar to electives) is computer lab!!! I know it's the "sign of the times" but it's incredible to me. It makes me wonder what it will be like when AJ is in kindergarten. Forget the computers, he'll be required to have a Smart Phone as part of his class materials.

The classes have smart boards...very cool.

This week was Space Week and there was a blow up planetarium that the kids got to go in and learn about space. Very, very cool!

Prior to the slashing of the counties school budgets, we almost had an Outdoor Science Lab complete with a full blown watershed. Our school would have been the first in the county to have this (darn!). I saw the proposed diagrams and design and it was pretty amazing. I know the PTA is trying to see if we can somehow still pay for it but I think it may be out of our reach...for now.

There's even kindergarten drama...and not the theater kind. Seena and her little gang of girls have already started with the whole "I'm not your friend"/"I'm your friend" drama. I thought this stuff didn't start until at least 6th grade!

But ultimately what amazes me the most is how much Seena is learning. She's learning to read and write, she's learning to add and subtract, she's learning about our presidents, tadpoles, Martin Luther King, Jr., counting to 100, counting backwards...the list just goes on. I really do hope Seena doesn't ever lose the love of learning.

Don't Even Know How to Start???

First off, I have to say that I'm almost embarrassed to actually start writing again....i don't even know how long it's been....3 weeks? And it's FLOWN by...it's been a whirlwind to say the least. Besides my allergies literally knocking me out last week I've barely had time to sit back and digest everything.

What I can say is that things are happening...and they are happening FAST! In as little as a few weeks, especially this one:

I've been thrown in the midst of LLCs, Article of Organizations, partnerships, cash flow projections, investors, operating agreements, peckers, wing fanatics and hope.
We've saved our home! Our loan has been officially modified!
Meetings, meetings and meetings... and meetings
I've died from my allergies
I've gain back all of the weight I thought I had lost.

And for all who know me and know me well, know that I do not wish bad things on anyone, not even my enemies. But I just recently learned that the man who ultimately was responsible for us losing our restaurant and ruining our lives, has finally had the tables turned on him. I secretely wished for this....I never prayed for it...I wouldn't do that but I did hope that he would one day feel bad for what he had done to us. And from what I understand, he has. And that makes me very happy.

Spring AKA Sugar Break 2010 (Part 3 of 3)

I realize it's a week later but it's been a bit hectic around here lately. I've had a lot of catching up to do and I can happily say that I'm 90% there! Yeah! So, without further ado..

The last part of our Sugar Fest was Easter. I'm one of those freaky people that loves holidays and loves to decorate the house and plan themed activites according to the holiday. Whether that actually happens is a whole other thing. I used to have the time to plan these "events" but the last few years and more so lately, things get planned the day before or the morning of. This year we got lucky the eggs were actually dyed!

As for the sugar fest, well, Easter is the one holiday that I let go of the candy/cookie rule. I let the kids eat candy all day long if they want. I know crazy but I also limit how much candy is actually available to them. As for their Easter baskets, I have to thank my dear friend V for providing old books and toys that I used to fill them up with.

It was a gorgeous day, the kids had a great time, we had lots of yummy food and we still had a day off the next day...a much needed day of relaxation.

Deep in concentration...Seena is trying to paint on the eggs

Finished work of art

messy fingers

on the hunt...

Easter kids

are there more?

Ya Ya and the kids

Spring AKA Sugar Break 2010 (Part 2 of 3)

Today's stroll down Sugar Break 2010 takes us to Hershey Park! The meca of all chocolately goodness!!! Fortunatley/unfortunatley - depends on who you ask (G is still shocked that I didn't bring him back any candy --(it's Hersheys, you can get that at anywhere for I'm sure 1/2 the price)) we didn't buy any chocolate but we bought everything else. Anyway, back to the story...I decided to take the kids to Hershey Park over Spring Break...by myself :) Surpringsly, it went well! Even AJ did reasonably well, even without a nap. The hardest part was trying to keep my eyes open on the drive back home.

This was the first amusement park for AJ and from the looks of it he loved it! I actually got to ride 3 adult roller coasters, one of which went straight down and the other shot you off like a rocket. Wooh! Of course, I had to bribe my little angels with some ice cream in order to wait in line without any "episodes". Seena even drove the Classic Car by herself. She was very nervous and got a little anxious when she noticed the "back-up" behind her but she did great. And her defense, her foot WAS all the way down on the pedal :)

It's interesting, as little as 6 years ago I would have been upset that I didn't get to ride everything at an amusement park but this time, I simply enjoyed watching my kids have the time of their lives. It was a lot of fun and a lot of laughs!

I know AJ and probably Seena are too young to remember but hopefully with the 50 million pictures I took they'll be able to see all the fun we had.

Teen and her three other friends. Seena loved being "part of the girls".

AJ's first ride! He looks thrilled, can't you tell?

This is the 2nd ride. This one is a little better :)

I lied, this ride was the only ride AJ did not not get on. Seena gets brave and rides with her hands up!

Teen and Seena

Whoa!!  This one just makes me laugh every time :)

This is one of my favorite pictues. This ride was so cute. It was a bunch of mini trucks on a track. The kids got a 2nd wind 20 minutes before the park was going to close and they ran from ride to ride trying to get one last in.

Great memories!

Happy Birthday to Me!

I love birthdays, especially mine :) Ha! I said it. I admit it. I love it, I love the attention. It's not even the gifts really, it's just for the simple fact that for one a day a year, only one day, it's all about me :) I deserve one day, right?

I know it's totally silly but that's me. If I had the time and money I think I would throw myself a BIG party every year. Hahaha! But why shouldn't I celebrate? 36 years ago I was born and I'm still alive today, happy and complete as ever!

Life brings me total joy and on my birthday, it is all about life!

Happy Birthday to ME!

Spring AKA Sugar Break 2010 (Part 1 of 3)

I've been a little behind on posting...I have not recuperated from our Road Trip to Hershey Park yet. So for now, I will copy Ms. Danifred's posting of Spring Break activities part by part...stay tuned :)

I think for 2010 we need to rename this year's Spring Break to Sugar Break...literally. The week started off good and healthy but ended in a mass of chocolately, jelly bean, sugary hell heaven....

Our Sugar Fest started with the Circus. This was a special night as it was the first night in a VERY long time that G had off and we (G, Seena and I) went on a date together. It was great! I think Seena is going through the middle child syndrome so it was so nice to be able to have a special night that was just centered around her. Seena has never been to the circus so it was wonderful to see her excitement at all of the tricks and show animals. Her favorite were the little dogs.

From the moment we walked in the door G bought Seena a bag of cotton candy that cost almost my whole paycheck (yes, it's a bit exaggerated but you get the point) and a box of popcorn. Just these two items alone were $19. These prices rival the movie theater! At intermission G began scoping the aisles for the concession men passing out delicious goodies. I swear, he's worse than a kid sometimes. Unfortunately, I was no match for G and he bought Seena a "Smore on a Stick". I mean, really, do I need to tell you how that, on top of everything else, affected Miss Seena?

Ding, ding, ding...if you guessed "crazy" you are correct! Seena literally went into sugar shock and was bouncing around as if she had 3 shots of espresso. The poor girl could not sit still and she couldn't stop talking....gibberish nonsense. Oh, and I forgot to mention she drank at least 1/2 of my gigantic, which was the smallest size available, diet coke. It, she was crazy.

BUT besides that it really was a great night.

P.S. I would post some pictures (some really cute ones too) but I accidentally deleted them off my camera before saving them on the computer. Not nice :(

Love Thy Sister

Dear AJ,

I am so glad that I get to see you follow around in your sister's footsteps...literally. One of my daily greatest joys is watching you adore your sister. You show that love through playing with her, I suppose biting her too has some affection as well, I mean this whole phenomena on vampires has to come from some love right? My favorite, however, may have to be how much you copy her and her every moves. It is so precious.

I figure that this adoration will not last forever, as you are a boy, and soon Seena will have cooties or some other annoying gross girlie germ that you will not want having anything to do with. Therefore, I've a compiled a little list of all the ways you show how much you really love your sister.

I see it when you cry for her after she gets dropped off at school.
I see it when I give you a cookie and you ask for one more for Nena (Seena).
I see it when you have to have the same type of spoon that Seena has at dessert
I seen it when you follow Seena and copy her every move, whether she touches the couch a certain way or looks out a certain window
I see it when you carry your own blankie....(or you steal Seena's) when she carries hers around
I see it when you copy her dance moves or karate moves
I see it when you sneak in her room and crawl into her bed.
I see it when you play dollies with Seena
I see it when you run and hug Seena when you are scared, especially of the vacuum.

There's no denying it sweet boy.....you really do love your sister.

Just wanted to let you know...in case you ever forget.

All my love,
Mommy

Wordless Wednesday

Seena's picked out outfit for the next morning. Little Ms. Hannah Montana in the making!

Our Own Food Revolution

Ever since Seena was born I would like to say that I've been conscience of what types of food I bring in the house. It really started with simple things like not buying foods that had a million ingredients, I tried to keep things a bit more "natural".

Now a days I've become consumed with trying to educate myself and my kids (hubby is a alot little tougher) on what is best for us to eat. I am soooo fascinated by the power of what foods can do for your body, your overall heath and everything in between. I understand what NOT to eat....that's easy but trying to figure out AND remember what does what is a bit of a challenge. But once I slip in a "goodie" into the kid's diet AND they like it...MAJOR SCORE!

I keep a list of all of the "Super Foods" on our refrigerator so I can try to eat those on a regular basis. We're doing pretty good except for the salmon...Teen hates it of course. She wants me to load up on all of the bad stuff but I just can't. I've agreed to some things like Hot Pockets, brown sugar pop-tarts and sugary cereals. I don't buy sodas and I only have one option of cookies in the pantry. I know my kids, especially Teen, would love it if our pantry was filled with processed food yumminess but I just can't do it to them. Bad health (disease, cancer, sickness, etc) is one of my deepest fears and I want my kid's bodies to be tough, bad-health fighting machines.

In my quest I've definitely had some major crash and burns...like the Spinach Soup. Other times I soar. One of my latest triumphs is yogurt and granola. I know it almost seems silly that kids wouldn't like this combo but you just never know...at least not with my kids. I thought for sure at least AJ would like the Spinach Soup.

Anyway, the granola is packed with all kinds of goodness. The yogurts good too, as long as it's a low sugar kind, but the the granola is the big winner here. I've found granola that has flax seed, pumpkin seed, tart cherries, almonds...all super foods. It's almost the perfect food except for the darn fat content (which I learned the hard way...thanks).
My latest, latest find was a "healthy" tortilla chip. I don't buy chips or cheese puffs or regular tortilla chips but when I saw this and tasted it I was sold! Plus it's organic and has flax in it. So awesome!! And it's awesomely delicious and the kids like it. SCORE!

And for even more interesting food revolution news:

Recently I found an article in a magazine for belly-busting foods. These are foods that actually eat away/reduce/get rid of belly fat! How awesome is that??? And it's easy stuff to eat; berries, dairy (whey), green tea, grains - LOVE me some quinoa, lean meats, etc. Since reading this article I've tried to eat as much as these certain foods as I can and I think I can tell a difference...(that is what I'm telling myself).

I even have a great visual for this wonderful belly-busting fat "diet" - little tiny belly-fat-eating piranhas nibbling away at my belly fat. I know it's gross but the visual works for me. Makes me feel like my belly is getting flatter! (ha!) I totally get that sit-ups would accomplish the same thing but since when did sit-ups become more fun than eating....anything period?

Favorite Quinoa Recipe - has replaced my morning oatmeal

2 cups milk (skim or 1%)

1 cup quinoa rinsed

2-3 T brown sugar

cinnamon

Bring 2 cups of milk to a boil. Add quinoa. Lower to a simmer, cover and cook for 15 minutes, stirring often. Add 2-3 tablespoons (to taste) brown sugar. Add cinnamon (to taste). Cover and cook another 8 minutes, stirring occasionally. Split into bowls and eat immediately or save for leftovers.

A+ in Writing

Seena has come such a long way since she started Kindergarten. By the first interim we had a conference with the teacher and she was concerned with Seena's progress on learning her alphabet. So much so that Seena got extra help at school. We also did extra things at home like tape letter labels for items around the house, we "quizzed" her on her ABC's as often as we could get away with and we looked for "letters" when we ran errands.

All of these efforts worked beautifully and Seena is doing awesome. Just like her teacher said, it would just "click" and it did. Now the class has progressed to reading and writing and it's one of the most magnificent things I've ever seen. My girl is reading AND writing! And SHE LOVES TO WRITE! She writes any chance she gets. By no means is it perfect but I can actually understand 90% of what she is trying to write.

Just this past Friday, Seena's teacher told me that Seena did an "AWESOME" writing sample. So awesome that it was read out loud to the class. That was my girl! Seena is not a star athlete or a gifted musician (yet -ha!) so I'll take these "star" moments and shout it out for all to hear. That was my girl! I couldn't be more proud!!

The assignment was to write about a special moment they had with a parent. Seena wrote about our "date" to the "theater" to see Aladdin.

"I went to a show with my mom and they plad Alanid. Wen we wr (were) weying (waiting) in lin we desded (decided) to get a drek and chips. I at (ate) cookes at hom."

Today I told Seena to grab daddy to come out and help me with the picnic table I was building for her. Apparently Daddy was taking a shower so Seena left him a note:

"Mom needs help with my bench pieces come and help mom"

It's so great! This is my girl! She's writing!

Friday Night Leftovers

• I think I have mentioned on one or more occassion how much I dislike wasting time. Today, I got off "work" early and decided to take advantage of the hour I had before picking up Seena to go for a much needed run. Afterwards, the plans were to pick up Seena, get her haircut, shop for Friday night dinner, movie night and Elena's b-day party. None of this involved any rushing. There was ample time..until I somehow, somewhere lost my only spare key to the house while running. Do I really need to tell you how badly this sucked!! I had to call my brother to come pick me up and he drove me around while I looked for my key. No luck...didn't find it. So then, I had to bother my husband on Friday afternoon (uh, happy hour) for his key. Needless to say my afternoon was ruined, there was no haircut and the rest of the evening was spent rushing.
• I'm trying to decide if I should take AJ to the circus this week. I definitely want to take Seena but he's 2. Is he too young?
• I'm in a cooking rut. I don't want to cook, I don't know what to cook and I've even managed to avoid the big grocery shopping day. I think that is part of the problem, or really, the main problem. I only buy groceries that I need for a day or two, telling myself that I'll do the "big" trip later. Well, I never go and then I stress about what I'm going to make for dinner. I used to prepare menus for the week and post them so that the family wouldn't ask me 50 times a week "what's for dinner"...I haven't done this in so long but maybe it's time I go back.
• I took the trampoline down (yeah!) and I'm anxiously waiting to build the big play gym set I bought for the kids. I secretly bought this for myself because now my kids will play IN our yard (instead of the neighbors 3 doors down) and I can also hang out IN my garden yard.
• Need to call it a night because AJ has somehow manuevered himself behind me on my chair and has fallen asleep.

Goodnight Blogger world! Visit Danifred for more leftovers.

Open Doors

Ever since our restaurant closed we've been cruising along a ride of uncertainty. G was unemployed for forever and I was (still am) working a job that was (still is) just a job. Neither one of us knew where we were heading or what we really wanted to do. The silver lining of it all was that G got to spend (and make up) for a lot of missed kid/family time. But either way, our direction in life was uncertain. I prayed and prayed for God to open doors for us. I also prayed that God make sure he threw brick at my head so that I wouldn't miss the door once it opened!

And little by little I think our door(s) are finally opening. I don't want to say too much just in case things don't go the way we want them too, especially since a big chunk of it relates to G, but for me, possibilites are opening up for me too. A dear friend of mine encouraged me and even fronted money for me to take a training course for a certification that once all is said and done, could double my salary. I am nervous about taking on something else on top of my already heavy "work load" but I am excited about the possibilities this could open up for me. Even though I've enjoyed my flexibility IMMENSELY, I've been feeling like I'm missing something. I'm no longer the career driven woman I thought I was prior to having kids, but I certainly do think that I need a job that has some meaning to me. I need this for me and my kids. Right now, Teen has no idea what I do....quite frankly, I don't think anyone really does. I know she knows that I don't like my job and that bothers me. I want to be a good example for her, especially now that she's in High School and college is right around the corner.

So, here's to open doors and hopefully new possibilities....Cheers!

Family Time

When I was growing up 5:30pm was dinner time, no ifs ands or buts about it. It was the same everyday. My dad wasn’t always there but for sure the rest of us were.

Fast forward 20+ years and I’m still doing the same thing but only with my own family now. Our dinner time is 6:30 but our “family time” is from 5:00 to 7:00pm. This means we’re all suppose to be hanging out together in the same room. I allow the TV but definitely no computers. This was certainly a lot easier when G wasn’t working and fortunately our extracurricular activities are not so crazy (yet) that we can’t keep to the 6:30 dinner time most of the time. When G is home, it’s one of my most favorite times of the day. It’s great listening to Teen and G banter back and forth. They are both so alike and Teen, as I’ve mentioned before, is picking up his humor so they totally feed off of each other.

Now that G is working 6 out of 7 nights maintaining this sacred hour is much tougher but we’re still trying to stick to it as much as possible. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not always peachy king here in the Juno household; most of the time Seena is whining over something, AJ is trying to break into the pantry and Teen sneaks off whenever things get a little “much” BUT sometimes, the good times, it’s fun. It’s funny. It’s memorable.

Tonight G surprised everyone with WII Fit. He bought it for himself primarily...so that he can exercise *insert raised eyebrow here*. But nonetheless it’s a new toy for the house and Teen was all over it. Dinner was simply pizza – nothing fancy but conversation was funny and fun. Teen and G did their usual banter and the two younger ones played nicely for the most part. I just sat back and watched and listened. It really was family time.

BUT the night got even better when Teen broke out the Wii Fit! What a hoot! I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard in a very long time. Teen chose to do a “Head Butt Soccer Ball” workout. The gist of the “workout” was that she had to “head butt” approaching soccer balls from little WII soccer players. So not only was it hysterical watching her “head butt” the air but these little WII guys didn’t just kick soccer balls. They kicked their shoes too! Obviously you were supposed to avoid those but if you were so unlucky to not dodge the flying cleats they knocked you smack on the face! Between the graphics of the “character” being knocked in the face with a flying shoe and Teen trying to dodge AND head butt was just too much!! Hysterical!

It’s nights like these that make me so grateful that I have enforced the family time rule, even if I get a few eye rolls from time to time. We haven’t quite got to the point where we’re having family game nights, I hope we will, but for now I’ll take just hanging out.

How do you spend family time?

Quiet

Quiet.

That's what it is right now. No TV, no kids, not even music. It's so nice. I haven't had a quiet day like this in a long time. I forgot how nice it is. I can actually think clearly, I think? And I'm not rushing or trying to multitask a hundred things. Sure, I got a bunch of things to do. The hubby is home too. He's sleeping but inevitably he will end up adding to my "things to do" list in one way or another. But for now, I'm enjoying this quietness guilt free.

And it's going to rain.all.day...even better...

Friday Night Leftovers

• I'm torn between wanting to sleep in tomorrow, which I probably won't be able to because it will be Saturday and for whatever reason, my kids don't sleep in on Saturdays. Anyway, besides that, I'm torn between sleep and planting my pansies. I know it's silly but I LOVE me some gardening....
• I'm almost 100% convinced I found a hair under Seena's arm. Is this normal? I thought this happened later...much later. Darn hormones in the milk! I think I may be going organic, at least for the milk. 
• Seena accused me of making her too busy. Maybe she does have one too many activities BUT in my defense, these activities are spaced out proportionately and some are not a weekly thing. So far I we have her signed up for Dance, Tae Kwon, Do, Swim, Daisies, Kids for Jesus and we’re on the wait list for Soccer. A lot of this is just for her to test the waters and see what she likes. Dance may not make the cut next year but she’s loving her Swim and Tae Kwon Do classes. I never thought Soccer would be something that she would be interested in but it’s all she wants to play when she goes outside. So, again, in my defense, I have to know if this is real and the only way to do that is to let her play a season.
• I glimpsed an article today that talked about a mother who had taught her 4 and 2 year old to 1) play quietly in their room(s) until the clock said 7, 2) they eat dried cereal for breakfast, 3) they have stickers on the remotes for the TV so they know what buttons to push....all so mom can sleep in until 8. Hmmm....yeah, that wouldn’t work for us. AJ would have every puzzle taken out and dumped, all my cookbooks pulled of shelves and he would eat everything in the pantry.
• I wonder if I'll ever get to my scrapbooks? Even with moving my craft supplies upstairs into "my" office, I haven't even touched them.
• Seena has a b-day party tomorrow that has 45 kids coming. 45! And the kid is registered at Target! I think this is brilliant because it elimates the guessing game plus I guess you have to with a guest list that size. Wow, 45!

For more Friday Night Leftovers please visit our host Sippy Cups.

Certified Professional Mom, Mother, Mommy

I know it's been written and said a thousand times but I truly think moms have one of the hardest jobs out there and just like other professionals get fancy titles behind their names, well, so should moms. I read an article eons ago about what a stay-at-home mom's salary would equate to. I recall it being around $70,000. I think it should be more. Being a mom isn't just one job, one responsibility; it's all jobs and all responsibilities.

It's a shame that more don't understand or see this but unless you actually live it, you just don't know. I was lucky to have a strong mom who did everything but I still didn't get ALL what it meant to be a mom. It's scary and extremely fulfilling at the same time. Moms do not get any training; there are no programs or degrees in Motherhood. The skills we learn we learn on our own.

I often wonder what Teen sees in me. Does she see a strong mom like I saw or does she see a crazy lady trying to keep her head on straight? On my worst days I like to play pretend with Teen and say "you see this, this mad house? This should be all the birth control you need. This could be your life instead of trying to convince me to let you go to Prom". Hah! Maybe that could be something that gets taught in school! Forget sex education, let's just stick our teens in a mom role for a week, that'll work much better. And I've totally gotten off topic....let's get back shall we?

Moms. Moms are:
Moms are not just chefs or cooks, we're also nutritionists. Not only do we need to know how to cook but we have to keep up with processed foods, trans fat, hormones, additives, dyes, sugar, stress, white flour, pesticides, msg...
Presidents of households. Face it ladies, we are our own Presidents. We rule the coup.
Executive Assistant to the President of households. We are also our own Executive Assistants.
Scheduler/Programmer/Logistics manager
Event Planner/Project manager
Markeing manager/coordinator/sales manager - hello Girl Scouts; Boy Scouts
Politician/Peace Maker/Secretary of Family
Bodyguard
Maid
Networker
Teacher/Scholar
Coach/Instructor/Cheerleader
Law Rule Enforcement
Psychologist/Therapists/Nurse Practitioner - at some point we will be/are dealing with mental emotional teens and every other possible boo boo or scratch.
Chaufer
Super hero - our kids think we can do anything :)
Role Model - this is the one that scares me the most. How do I know I'm doing the right thing? Especially now that I have 3 kids watching my every move. If it's not already difficult enough to BE all of those professions but we must try to at least appear that you've got it all together too. I hope my kids will read this one day and realize that being a mom, whether it's a full time job or if it's in addition to a full time job, it's the hardest but most rewarding job out there.

Nothing else compares. Nothing.

Not so Wordless Wednesday

I tend to forget how short I REALLY am until I stumble upon pictures like this....

Hello, my name is dwarf and this is my husband, Mr. Giant.

Momma, the 35 Year Old Dora

It took me awhile but I finally figured out why my son was so attached to Dora. Don't get me wrong, he has his favorite boy toys like cars and baby dolls but his favorite book is a Dora Choo Choo book and he sleeps holding a minature Dora figurerine (spelling?). I didn't get it, why Dora? And then one day out of the blue, while he was getting ready to nap and he was placing Dora next to him on the pillow, I asked him "who's that?". He responded, "Momma"

I suppose I can see the resemblance?

What do you think?

Don't Understand

I don't understand how a child that I love with all of my being can infuse me with such rage that I feel like my head is going to explode. I've NEVER known anger this way. Between the not listening, the warnings for punishments, the choices, the actual punishment and the subsequent whining, crying, screaming, crying and whining after the punishment I lose it. I honestly feel as if an angry beast is inside of me and all I want to do is scream. I know I must look like one when I've finally had it and I'm inches from Seena's face scolding her with my high pitched voice and telling her that I'm done, done, done, DONE and that I don't want anything to do with her for the rest of the night.

I don't understand.

How can I say and feel those things for something that is the most precious thing to me? Where does this anger come from? No one, not even my husband, has ever made me as mad as Seena does.

Is it the age? Is it normal?

I can see how people become abusive, when I get that angry that's all I want to do. I want to beat her, I want to beat my child. What is wrong with me?

I don't understand.

Before I went to Confession months ago, I contemplated whether I really needed to go. I wasn't a sinner. I didn't do bad things. I've never committed adultry and I certainly have never killed anyone, why did I need to go? Well, I learned that in fact I have committed all 10 mortal sins, even killing. I've killed in anger. I've killed my daughter's spirit with my anger. I may not resort to beating her but I certainly hurt her with my anger and my words.

What kind of mother am I?

I don't understand.

I don't understand how I can be engulfed with rage wanting to hurt my child one minute and then weeping over the pain I just caused the next.

I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

Wordless Wednesday

Even under all of the weight of winter's heavy snow, little life's beauties survive and shows promise of sunnier days ahead...

Seena Smarty Pants

A sampling of some of Seena's Smarty Pants talk I was subjected to this past weekend.

In the midst of a sharing episode between Seena and AJ, I tried to explain to her (again) that AJ doesn't understand because he's 2. Seena's response, "Well, I hope he understands when he's 3!"

After being issued a strike 3 and realizing that it meant not getting any TV time for the evening, Seena began her tantrum and crying that I lied to her. See, normally Strike 3 means "no friends or playtime with friends" but since it was Sunday evening when the warning for the Strike 3 was given, I told Seena she would lose TV time if she got the Strike 3. Well, she got it and conveniently forgot that I told her the strike was for TV and not friends. Anyway, tantrum and arguing starts. I try, unsuccessfully, to remind her that I did warn her but she wanted no part of it and told me she didn't want to talk to me anymore and to leave her alone. I don't listen and try to explain further that I understood why she was angry but that she needed to stop arguing WITH ME. She shot back; "Well, just like I got in trouble for not listening to you, you are now doing the same thing and not listening TO ME". Aw, snap....did she just call me a hypocrite? Well, Ms. Smarty Pants proved her point and I apologized. That was SO not how I thought that situation was going to end.

Sunday's Adventure

In true JunoMom fashion I jam packed another day of activites for the kiddies. But as I reflect on yesterday, I really wish that things just lived up to my expectations, for once. I know the kids had fun and they could care less if things were more structured or if there was "more to it" but still, I get all excited thinking how great something is going to be and then it turns out to be nothing great. At least the kids got to run around outside and Seena got to see some "castles" as we drove through a very affluent neighborhood.

And our adventure begins....

Church - I take them, and as long as I bring a baggie of snacks for AJ, he can almost sit quietly through the entire mass. I forgot the snacks yesterday and of course that is the first thing he asks for when we sit in our usual spot in the back. I really didn't get much of the mass as I spent most of the time following AJ and keeping him out of the donuts that were meant for AFTER mass.

Maple Syrup Boil Down - I've been actually trying to go to this event for a few years now. The idea sounded great - showing everyone how maple syrup is made, colonial set-up, free cornbread and a tasting of the maple syrup. With Seena learning about George Washington, Abe Lincoln, Plymouth Rock and the Pilgrims, I thought this would be a fun way to visually see how things were like back then. Not so:

1st disappointment was there was only 1 blacksmith shop and the kids just weren't interested in the blacksmith making a sharp tool.

2nd disappointment - there was no taking maple syrup from the trees. The syrup was already boiling in a big pot. How much fun is it to watch a pot cook over a fire? They get to see that everyday at home. I suppose I should have paid more attention to the name of the event but seriously, I thought it would have entailed a little more than an actual boil down.

3rd disappointment - the maple syrup that we sampled was commerical. The honey we tried was from local bees.

Hightlight - I got a great picture of Seena and a hug from a random lady when she saw how frustrated I looked at watching my son scurry away only to trip over every rock he came across.

Chocolate Festival - next on the list was the Chocolate Lovers Festival. Of all the "events" scheduled for this festival only two stuck out as any interest to us; the Tasting (ahem, chocolate) and the Chocolate Creations gallery. They even advertised that one of the Food Network Challenge competitors would be there. I thought THIS would be great. Seena LOVES watching the FN Challenge shows, especially the cake decorating ones. She loved seeing the cakes so I thought she would love to see chocoate creations. Now, in my mind, I'm thinking these creations were going to look like what we see on TV, you know, Vegas style :) Not so. These creations, albiet a few from actual bakeries, were creations made by anyone but professionals. Some (2) were cute. Seena still enjoyed seeing the 5 or 6 that were displayed. Yes, you read correctly. There were only 5-6 creations displayed in the "showing".  I think Seena and I are going to enter next year just because.

The tasting wasn't much better. As I approached the Old Town Hall where the tasting was being held, I saw a line wrapping around the building. Now, a smart mom would have turned around and walked away. Not I. This was a chocolate tasting after all. Plus it was Sunday (a freebie day from Lent - it's true, I looked it up) and after depriving myself from sweets for 2 weeks, I was definitely going to get some!  Anyway, the place was a madhouse. It was jam packed, literally. It  may not have been as bad had I gone alone or with another adult who enjoyed chocolate as much as I do. I think I ended up eating more chocolate than the kids

Highlight here - dipping strawberries in the chocolate fountain. And I got to eat LOTS and LOTS of chocolate :)

Our Saturday(s)

A few weeks ago G asked why I just didn't write about what we did everyday. At first I thought it would be somewhat boring as there are days where either nothing really significant happens, the day is just too busy or AJ won't let me sit in front of the computer long enough to write something. Plus I don't have the gift of making the mundane interesting...I wish I did...

Anyway, now that G is working ALL.OF.THE.TIME and he misses out on so much, I may take him up on this. Plus, if I tried to tell him the events of the day in detail (like I love) his eyes would glaze over and he would tell me to "land the plane". So, this is for you G...and all the fun you missed out on yesterday ;)

I have to start off with G getting home at 4:00am from work. This is important for the simple fact that I purposely jam pack my mornings with out-of-the-house activities so that G can get some much needed sleep. For this week, I've added swimming to Seena's growing agenda. So, at 4:00am G comes home, I wake up and we exchange hellos, how was work, etc. I fall back to sleep only to be woken up at 6:00am by AJ.

By 8:50am we are out the door to go to Seena's first swim class. The class is only scheduled for 30 minutes but I packed my bathing suit and AJ's just in case. I was looking forward to letting AJ have some water time (san me) in the beach area at the pool while Seena took her class. Not so. Swim classes for all ages took up the ENTIRE pool area so we just got to watch. Thank goodness AJ actually sat through this without any issues. Afterwards we get ready to leave and I realized I forgot to pack toiletries for the ever so important after the pool shower. Had to borrow shampoo. Yes, I was that mom.

As we walked out of the locker, I stepped on the scale to see if my new Lent diet (no red meat or sweets) has done wonders to my weight. Not so. Not happy. We move on with my grumpy pants now on. Off to dance class.

We drop Seena off and AJ and I proceed to run an errand and then to Wegman's to get lunch. For whatever reason AJ does not like Wegmans. He can sit through grocery shopping almost anywhere except for Wegmans. I don't get it...but whatever we made it, barely. And just for a side note...why should healthy food be more expensive? Last week lunch was McD's. I spent about $6.50 for the kids. Our Wegman's lunch this week was almost $20.00; soup for the 3 of us, cornbread, salad for me and fruit for the kids. Not fair.

Pick up Seena from dance and we drive over to the local library to drop off books and hopefully find a picnic table to have lunch. My biggest mistake here was that I should have checked the weather for an update. I knew it was going to be in the 50s - perfect for a little outside lunch - what I didn't count on was the wind. A nice frosty wind. We find a picnic table (at the library) and get all set up. Soups are poured in cups and ready eat. Seena has to pee. Without fail..always happens. Repack all of the food minus one (hot) soup cup that has no lid that I carry in one hand and in the other I'm dragging (literally) a hungry toddler. We all finish our business and make it back to the table. And what a sight for sore eyes we were. It was so windy and so cold. Thank goodness I had towels, an emergency blanket and a bag of sweaters that need to go the dry cleaners in my car. I took it all out and wrapped my kids (and myself) in all of it. We looked like a bunch of hobos crouched over a hot fire, in our case hot soup. As soon as the soups were done we finished the rest of our food in the car.

Next on the list was TKD. By this point it's after lunch and AJ is ready for a much needed nap. Because we can't do this quite yet he rewards me with horrible stellar behavior during Seena's 30 minute class. Highlight here was G made a surprise visit. Seena was overjoyed!

We make it home (finally!) and AJ goes down quickly for a nap. Teen and I exchange words because she can't wait an extra 45 minutes to go to a friend's house so that I can get a quick run in, I make her clean her bathroom and vacuum, G leaves for work with Teen and I go outside to do some outdoor gardening chores.

AJ wakes up and we all go outside to play with all of the neighborhood kids that are out (love that I live in a neighborhood like this). Unfortunately, our outdoor fun time does not last long before Seena has an accident and takes a nose dive to the sidewalk. I was behind her when it happened and as soon as I saw her fall I instantly pictured a mangled face, missing teeth...the works. I run over to her (while carrying AJ and his wheely thing) and assess the damage. Thanfully, not too bad..phew! Painful...yes, screaming 5 year old... yes...but no serious damage.

The rest of the night was pretty typical with one exception. I decided to make some changes around the house...for me. See everyone in my house has their own "space". Not me. Now that G is gone most of the time and he got a new laptop from work, he no longer needs to be in the "office". So, I moved some things around and made the office "my space", complete with even my scrapbook supplies.

I know G won't be thrilled which is why I pretended to be asleep when he got home at 4:00am this morning and will be gone for most of the day today :)

AJ - 2.2

Thank goodness for Danifred to remind me what I should be keeping up with :)

AJ is 2 years and 2 months. If it wasn't for my lost metabolism and carbs, I wouldn't need to work out. The little tot has me running around all of the time! I'm either chasing him down the street, literally, chasing him around the house or running to keep him from falling, knocking down/over, spilling, dumping or eating. You would think my house was a prison the way he takes off as soon as he steps foot outside.

AJ is still a copy cat. He mimics everything Seena does. If she's practicing a dance move, so is he. My favorite is when Seena does a twirl-kick combo. AJ gets right in there and does his own version and then walks away so confident you would think he landed a perfect triple axle flip. It's so darn cute.

AJ's favorite activity is pulling off the couch pillows and jumping on them.

AJ can actually sit in time-out by himself now....for 20 seconds.

As much as I don't want him to grow any faster than he already is, I am looking forward to him getting just a little older so that I can put him in some sort of activity. I'm considering the little soccer programs for him but I know that there is a class at our local fitness center that incorporates all sports, not just soccer, but the age starts at 2 1/2. I also thought about swimming but I feel like it's a waste of money for his age. Any thoughts?

AJ has now officially crossed over into Picky Eater territory. He decides to eat his food by plate/bowl appeal now. Gone are the days where he would eat anything. Perfect example would be the spinach soup I made last week. It was very tasty, especially with Parmesan Cheese sprinkled in it. He took one look at the green liquid and wanted nothing to do with it.

And lastly, I'm starting to get a little concerned with his lack of words. He talks, he is my child, but he's not talking talking. I can understand him and I know what he wants but I feel like he's not exactly where he should be. Our daycare provider noted it as well as was going to keep an eye on it as well.

All in all; for all of his craziness, he is so sweet and loving. And so darn cute.

Teen & Dating

Today was the first real day G and I had to address the issue of Teen and dating. Teen has had boyfriends and has had them over, has gone to the movies with them within a group but she's never been on an official date...as far as I know.

When she started High School we (G included) set some rules. No dating anyone over 10th grade and no official dates until she was 16. This has worked out just fine for both her and us. Until today. She was invited to go to Tropical Smoothie by a boy, a Junior. She mentioned this to me yesterday and because the meeting time was going to be in the afternoon, I was willing to let her go. G was too.

Fast forward to today. I asked Teen to baby sit the kids along with YaYa because I was giving myself the rare opportunity to go out with friends. She, of course, gave me some grief about it but finally agreed. We then began the following text exchange:

Teen - I'm going to go to Tropical Smoothie at 6, can YaYa watch the kids for an hour?
Me - How do you  plan on getting there?
Teen - He's picking me up ?
Me - That's a no. I can take you at 5 and pick you up at 6.
Teen - Why not? He's the guy that takes me to school all the time. Well I'm not doing that

***interupt for clarificaiton*** This boy has picked her up twice and is the older brother of a friend of Teens. So, she's never been alone in the car with him....as far as I know***back to our text***

Teen - Pleasee
Me - I'm sorry no. You're not suppose to be going out with anyone over 10th anyway. Be thankful I'm letting you go at all.
Teen - Wow. I'm not even dating him. He invited me to tropical smoothie!
Me - That was very nice of him, you can meet him there.
Teen - I'm not going
Me - ok
Teen - k

Now, I'm sure I'm on her hate list for the evening but I stand by my decision. And because one day my kids will be reading this, (as I'm writing this Teen is reading past posts) I want to reiterate my reasons why:

1. Our initital rule was - no boyfriends/dates over 10th grade
2. I've never met the boy
3. She was going to be alone in the car with him. With a boy I've never met.
4. She's 15.
5. If I say yes to Tropical Smoothie today, next week it will be dinner, and then a movie and then a senior....no thank you.
6. And finally, maybe it makes no difference or not but Teen has been badly hurt by her ex BFF. This BFF has started horrible rumors about Teen that has affected her reputation with the upper classmen at school. I feel pretty confident that these rumors are just that. From conversations I've had with her and her reactions to certain situations gives me the impression that the rumors are false. However, I can help the nagging mom feeling that if I let her go out with this junior, it will only add fuel to the fire.

I know for now it sucks. I'm sure I would have been pissed at my mom too. But one day, when Teen is a mom of a hormonal teenager, I hope she'll understand.

As a side note - I was asked earlier why I chose Juno Mom as my name. And the answer is ....my husband gave me the nickname because of my super sexy outfits I wear to bed. If you've seen the movie you can imagine what those outfits are :) Hey, between my house being super cold, a dog sleeping in my bed and kids in and out of the bedroom at all ours of the night, he's lucky he even gets some :)

Friday Night Leftovers

• As a follow up to my red meat post and to the suggestions of eating dark and leafy greens, I made a spinach soup this evening. I came upon this yummy goodness at Wegman's yesterday and I was surprised at how good and low fat it was. No cream! Unfortunately, no one else in my family thought the same thing and I have enough spinach soup to last me until Easter. Fun.
• I hate my husband's job. No, that is incorrect, I hate the line of work he is in. I know he loves it and therefore I feel guilty but his hours suck. He closes 6 nights a week, which means he works from 2pm to 3-4am. The kids never see him and I'm left with doing EVERYTHING. I'm not ungrateful, especially since he was unemployed for so long but it's hard. And I'm tired. And this is my blog. He knows he's not contributing and feels badly about it. I've even gotten a few "I promise I'll clean on such and such date". Mmhmm. I'm lucky now if he even makes the bed before he leaves. We've been told this type of schedule is temporary and will lighten up soon. I hope so.
• AJ knows how to count 1. It's so cute. Earlier today (or yesterday?) I, out of the blue, asked AJ to count something with me and piped right in with "one". 
• I have a secret fascination with The Duggars. Not that I want to have 20 or however many kids they have, I'm just curious HOW they do it. I know some of it is TV stuff but they're very religious so I can't imagine they would deliberately lie or be deceitful. How does she manage to raise all those kids, homeschool them and have, what appears like, a happy, respectful and organized home. I'm actually reading their book. I clearly have issues but I may get some new ideas.
• We're back to having major issues with bed wetting and soiled pants with the missy. I finally gave in and bought her pull-ups. It took a lot to get her to finally agree to where them but she's wearing them (at night only).
• It appears Teen has picked up G's sarcastic wittiness and sense of humor. She's quite funny.
• Seena is still obsessed with Teen being only her "half sister" but it's all behind my back. Today, she told her old 2's teacher at daycare while we were picking up AJ. I only found out because the teacher pulled my aside to tell me. I wonder where she got all this from and why she seems to be obsessed with it. I believe some deeper investigation is in order.

For more leftover see our host Danifred.

No Red Meat = No Energy

And as any mom knows, no energy is not an option. What I can say is that I'm pooped, literally. I am dragging a$$. All I think about all day is closing my eyes and going to sleep. Up until today I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I'm never like this unless I'm sick and that even only lasts 24 hours. I don't think it's my job overload. Even working all 4 in one week, it still doesn't make 40 hours...not that I want it to but I'm just saying...it's not the work that's making me tired. It's not the kids either, as hectic and nonstop as they are, I'm used to that. So, I'm left with the red meat. It's the only change I've made recenlty. And in just one week it may already be kicking my butt. I've been yawning and have been exhausted all week. All I want to do is lay in bed. My poor husband is just appalled that I would have the "audacity" to yawn around him. I know, dude, I get it, your tired, you work until 3am every night and only get 4 hours of sleep....but I'm not getting any red meat and I'm tired too! I guess that's what it is...It's the only thing that has changed. I guess it's the lack of iron. It's started to affect my running again. Today I ran with lead weights for legs. It sucked.

I suppose I will need to do some research on some dietary alternatives as I intend to stick this through. One of the main reasons I chose to give this up was to see how my body would react. I've been doing a lot of reading on eating a plant-based diet and all of the health benefits associated with it. I'm not saying that I want to be vegan, I don't think I could, but it still intrigues me.

I've heard some rumors of being allowed to indulge in your Lental sacrifice on Sundays. If things don't improve mighty quickly I may be cooking up an all-beef buffet this Sunday!

How do these vegetarian athletes do it? Where do they get their energy from? In just the time it has taken me to write this blog, I think I've fallen asleep 4 times. As a matter of fact, I don't even know if what I have written makes sense or is even interesting...I need to go to sleep...I'm getting delirious.

Any suggestions for iron intake (besides a vitamin?)

Friday Night Leftovers

Between a squirmy toddler on my lap and my painfully slow computer I've given up trying to share the love on fellow Friday Night bloggers for tonight. Sorry ladies, I'll catch up this weekend...

• Of the 3 days Seena was in school this week I juggled all 4 of my jobs and ended up having to run, in heels no less, to pick up Seena from school on time. I suppose I need to revisit my time management skills. I really felt silly, especially in my heels, but with all of this darn snow piled up everywhere, there was no place to park close to the school and the traffic to just get close to the school was ridiculous! I was so super late today that I risked serious car damage and probably some heated words by parking in someone's "cleared" parking spot just so I could get closer to the school. I'm so glad it's Friday!
• To further elaborate on my time management issues, I could put Seena back in aftercare to give me more time in the day but I just can't. One, it doesn't make financial sense at all and two, there are only 2-3 other girls in the program, all of whom leave usually by 5:00pm if not earlier. There have been so many days where I've walked by the classroom at 5:15 and the class is full of boys only. Seena would be so miserable there and I just can't put her through that just to give me an extra hour to do whatever. I just need to tighten up my schedule.
• AJ plays with dolls and barbies. No big deal....I know it makes no difference but it's another thing to see my son rolling around on the floor at daycare wearing a full blown princess dress and tutu skirt. Apparently he was dancing. And ooh, he was so proud of his dress when I got there.
• This evening before movie night started, Seena gave me some choices of activities that she would show me..kind of like a show. The list was karate, dance, down floor, turn dance, cool dance or 2 karate girls. I picked cool dance but we never got to it because Seena's playdate arrived for movie night. Tomorrow I get to see down floor and turn dance (raise eyebrow here).
• Seena got her first social call the other night. Out of the blue a classmate (and Daisy mate) called Seena to chit-chat. After the initial confused look, Seena took the phone and jabbered away. G thought I was joking when I told him. It appears we may have another little social butterfly on our hands. 
• I've decided to give up red meat and desserts/sweets for Lent. No, I'm not trying to be a vegetarian, I'm just interested to see what happens if I don't eat meat for 40 days. I don't think it will be too hard since I don't really crave to eat it other than an occasional craving for a juicy hamburger.  We'll see. I usually give up Diet Coke and chocolate but I think I'm going for the extreme this time around. I'm going hardcore and no sweets! This is going to be painful...my GS cookies just came in and I love me some Tag-a-longs!
• I think it's time for me to go since my squirmy toddler has now left my lap and is sleeping on the floor next to me.

Good night....for more leftovers check-out our host Sippy Cups.

Positive Reinforcement

In my ever quest to find the appropriate and most successful discpline for my crazy toddler I am settling on the positive reinforcement method (for now). Other than the occassional no.no.no.no.NO.NO AJ!, I am really, really, really trying not to yell at my kids. Seena is a backtalker and is already an emotional mess and well, AJ, just thinks it's all funny. So with positive reinforcement I am patiently with gritted teeth remembering NOT to focus on the wrong but on all the good AJ does. Naturally, there is a lot of "Good boy, AJ", high 5's so on, what have you. Good right? Remember the emotional mess up there? Well, she's starting to show a little jealousy. Anytime I say "good boy", "good job" or seem super happy of over something positive AJ did, I get a pouty lipped 5 year old asking why she's not getting a "good job". Instead of going along with it and just giving her a high five or a "you're always doing a good job" response, I dive right into a full explanation of how mommy is trying to show AJ how HAPPY mommy is when he does the right thing instead of yelling when he does something naughty...you know...positive reinforcement.

In return I get a blank stare followed by, "yeah, I don't understand that. You'll need to draw me a picture."

Wordless Wednesday

A favorite past-time of Seena's - playing dress-up with my clothes

Friday Night Leftovers

• 
  
  I really am disliking this new blogger, mainly because of the missing spellcheck button. If it's really there and I can't see please let me know. I'm not a horrible misspeller but I like having the comfort zone of having the "button" to catch any mistakes. Especially now since I really do think I'm losing brain cells. I am "forgetting" how to talk, spell, write...I'm assuming it's because I lack adult conversation on a regular/daily basis but maybe not...maybe I am losing brain cells..yikes!
• 
  
  I can't believe how raw my fingertips are. Between the constant washing dishes, laundry, wet gloves from shoveling/playing in the snow, the snow period, baby wipes, washing my hands, washing AJ's hands and face my fingertips HURT! They're cracking all over the place and they are dry, dry, dry! I wonder if YaYa still has the hand wax kit I gave her years ago ;)
• 
  
  I don't like playing dollies with Seena. There I said it. Anything else, no problem. I can color, do puzzles, play games, play restaurant, etc....but just nothing to do with playing house, caring for babies, going to school...I do that stuff all day everyday..I don't want to play it too. And that's all she wants to do.
• 
  
  The other favorite past time of Seena's is throwing parties. The other day she threw a "restaurant party" for G going back to work at a restaurant. This I enjoy doing ;)
• 
  
  AJ is just AJ.
• 
  
  Teen and I's relationship has gotten better and better by the day. I think we both can say now that we actually do enjoy each other's company and mean it :) I had hoped this would happen once she reached high school and I'm quite pleased with how things are going.

For more Friday Night Leftovers please visit our host Sippy Cups.