Saturday, February 27, 2010

Teen & Dating

Today was the first real day G and I had to address the issue of Teen and dating. Teen has had boyfriends and has had them over, has gone to the movies with them within a group but she's never been on an official far as I know.

When she started High School we (G included) set some rules. No dating anyone over 10th grade and no official dates until she was 16. This has worked out just fine for both her and us. Until today. She was invited to go to Tropical Smoothie by a boy, a Junior. She mentioned this to me yesterday and because the meeting time was going to be in the afternoon, I was willing to let her go. G was too.

Fast forward to today. I asked Teen to baby sit the kids along with YaYa because I was giving myself the rare opportunity to go out with friends. She, of course, gave me some grief about it but finally agreed. We then began the following text exchange:

Teen - I'm going to go to Tropical Smoothie at 6, can YaYa watch the kids for an hour?
Me - How do you  plan on getting there?
Teen - He's picking me up ?
Me - That's a no. I can take you at 5 and pick you up at 6.
Teen - Why not? He's the guy that takes me to school all the time. Well I'm not doing that

***interupt for clarificaiton*** This boy has picked her up twice and is the older brother of a friend of Teens. So, she's never been alone in the car with far as I know***back to our text***

Teen - Pleasee
Me - I'm sorry no. You're not suppose to be going out with anyone over 10th anyway. Be thankful I'm letting you go at all.
Teen - Wow. I'm not even dating him. He invited me to tropical smoothie!
Me - That was very nice of him, you can meet him there.
Teen - I'm not going
Me - ok
Teen - k

Now, I'm sure I'm on her hate list for the evening but I stand by my decision. And because one day my kids will be reading this, (as I'm writing this Teen is reading past posts) I want to reiterate my reasons why:

1. Our initital rule was - no boyfriends/dates over 10th grade
2. I've never met the boy
3. She was going to be alone in the car with him. With a boy I've never met.
4. She's 15.
5. If I say yes to Tropical Smoothie today, next week it will be dinner, and then a movie and then a thank you.
6. And finally, maybe it makes no difference or not but Teen has been badly hurt by her ex BFF. This BFF has started horrible rumors about Teen that has affected her reputation with the upper classmen at school. I feel pretty confident that these rumors are just that. From conversations I've had with her and her reactions to certain situations gives me the impression that the rumors are false. However, I can help the nagging mom feeling that if I let her go out with this junior, it will only add fuel to the fire.

I know for now it sucks. I'm sure I would have been pissed at my mom too. But one day, when Teen is a mom of a hormonal teenager, I hope she'll understand.

As a side note - I was asked earlier why I chose Juno Mom as my name. And the answer is husband gave me the nickname because of my super sexy outfits I wear to bed. If you've seen the movie you can imagine what those outfits are :) Hey, between my house being super cold, a dog sleeping in my bed and kids in and out of the bedroom at all ours of the night, he's lucky he even gets some :)


Sunny said...

Our moms would have done the EXACT same thing. As a matter of fact, I think they did. And we lived through it. If Hailey is reading this...don't worry, your moms and dad will let you one day. :)

Danifred said...

Good job Mama!

Rebecca said...

Thank God someone sticks to their rules. I am currently tutoring a 15 year old whose mother allows her to drive around with anyone and "sleep out" and seemingly has no control. I just don't get it, but I am thankful that there are still parents out there like're doing the right thing and they need boundaries!

Thanks for answering my question...I'm so nosy!