Monday, June 15, 2009

Bug's Blog

I have to postpone today's scheduled blog because I am too emotional to write about anything today. I stumbled upon a blog of a woman who lost her handicapped son suddenly one evening in 2005. She used her blog as a tribute to her son and how much she missed him. She has retired the blog in 2007. All I can say is that it is beautifully written and through her words I feel that I knew her son or wished that I had. I've spent most of my morning reading her blog....while at work. Thank goodness I have my own office where I can hide behind closed doors so no one can see the tears streaming down my face. I have not experienced the pain or loss that she has endured and I pray, pray, pray that I never have to, but if anything, reading her blog has reaffirmed what I've been desperately trying to hold on to as I am going through my own personal painful journey of loss and guilt. My kids and my family are my life. I know I harp on this way too much but reading her blog just drives those emotions deep into the very core of my soul. I do not want to live my life in fear, knowing full well that life is not a guarantee but all I want to do right now is go straight home, grab my kids and lock down my house so no threat of unimaginable loss will ever come my way. But instead I will use the memories of her son and the joys he brought his family to celebrate life everyday and to remember how truly blessed I am.

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