Monday, April 13, 2009

It's me again.

I know it's been awhile but I've actually written in this blog several times in my head...I just forget to type it. These days I'm choosing sleeping instead of getting mommy time in the morning. AJ is still sleeping weird hours and for some reason I stay up late watching unnecessary TV. Things haven't changed too much since my last post, physically. G is still out of work...however, he's on his way to his 2nd interview for a job in DC. My fingers are definitely crossed. I've picked up 2 part-time jobs, and possibly a third. Well, I shouldn't really call them part-time jobs as they are more contractual and on an as-needed basis. It's definitely helped us get caught up with our everyday utilities, daycare (2 days only) and so on. Still have not paid our mortgage but I'm hoping I qualify for the new Obama bail out plan and can get my loan modified to where I can afford it (and still be able to pay my mom back). And hopefully, I'll get some money back from taxes..if my damn accountant would call me back. I owe her money too but I made good with my arranged payment plan. I paid my first, let's get a move on. I only have 2 days left and I need the money to pay my past due mortgage!!!

Mentally, things have changed. At least I think I'm doing better. Writing all of this really helped. I realized I really can't do pity parties...not even for myself. It's awful. So, I really tried to focus on my faith that what is meant to be is meant to be and I forged ahead. I embraced my poverty and tried to make the best of it. This is definitely something I can't control so I just need to ride it out and find ways to enjoy the ride. My kids don't care if I'm a millionaire or dirt poor, they just want me to play. So, that's what I do. I play, I sing, I dance and I just goof around with my kids. Hearing them laugh and seeing their smiles is the best thing in the world and it can lift my spirits like nothing else. I especially love my individual times with each. Seena and I cuddle at night while watching TV and AJ and I cuddle in the morning (this is when I chose to sleep-in instead of getting up). Hey, I'm not stupid....these cuddles are not going to last forever....I'm taking what I can get!

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